I was Born as We
Let us get things straight: don’t ever feel guilty for shaming your oppressor on social media platforms. Yes, you can be scared, it is valid, actually. You can feel the urge of backing out from typing the harassment they did, the violations they made, the trauma they left. It is totally valid. And normal, ofcourse. But don’t feel that they don’t deserve it. Always listen to that voice, to that little sound of thought, telling you that the guy who raped you should be projected as a villain by society.
Still feel unsure? No worries, here is my story.
On June 30 of 2021, I decided to enter a tweet: a story of how my harasser, named Charles Buni, discriminated, put me in the box of voidness, and traumatized me. Then, there should be no regrets, or if there is any, it should just be miniscule guilt. Not a little, miniscule. A very tiny regret that might pop out.
So, in general, he has some trouble dealing with his attitude, behavior, and mentally. A homophobic invidual in an era of openness and liberal values. He dived into his stupidity rather than rationality.
He questioned my being, a right bestowed to the person who is still navigating the sea of confusion. He asked, “ Bakla ka ba?” (Are you gay?), which is a form of discrimination. On the surface level, is that your business to begin with? Second, Is it right to ask? Third, even if it is your business, or your right, if that person is still not out yet, but you still questioned them that is contingent on a pure assumption, is it okay to do that? Or are you forcing them to come out just for yourself gain of knowing that they are gay?
Too many questions, I’m sorry. But these questions have an intent: A basic question that can be answered from how much you are human to other humans. Simple questions may lead you to awakening: what if, all this time, I was wrong to speculate and assume someone’s sexual orientation and gender identity?
So, why does it matter to call out any kinds of oppression? Rape. boob-groping. unconsented wanking. Homophobia. These are outgrowing trends because of the social system we have. I regret to inform you guys, if the legislation and social support, like family and friends, are absent for accountability and help, then find power to amplify your oppression. Tell people how you had been harassed, how you had felt that being gay is wrong because of your classmates before. Shame them. Cancel them. Strip their dignity and silence them from their committed abuses. But, remember, do it not only for yourself but for others, too.
Just like voicing out your opinions on any media, telling your story of any sort of struggle and trauma is a win for the movement you implicitly participate with. Feminism, and LGBT+, black, and indigenous rights. These have goals that are meant for you when you suffer from a specific struggle that falls in a particular movement. Someone violates your fundamental rights? Then speak up, someone at the back will definitely hear, and will help you echo your story until it reached the goal. Because you might not know, that person who heard your story is also a victim of an unfair system, just like you. Collect your own voice, then, help others collect their own. But please speak up when you are ready. Don’t force a tongue that isn’t ready to speak a narrative derived from violence.
Why is this, then, important? It is to break the roaring growth of impunity in every society. Imagine, with no one calling for an action to make that person accountable. It is a very haunted place, as the justice goes far away, because none of us call for it.
I am glad, calling out my oppressor on twitter. It’s not just my own fight; it is the fight of the LGBT+ community.